Who Knew?
By Jeanie Stirling
I fixed myself a good dinner the other night. Earlier in the day I had been in a grocery store where I had seen the fresh, summer corn piled high. Thinking, oh, that looks good, I picked out one ear. When had I ever bought only one ear of corn?! Corn-on-the-cob had traditionally been something I served to a group or at the very least made for my family, yet there I was with one ear of corn in my cart.
Dinner that evening was tasty and the corn was an ever so good addition. But I concluded that eating summer corn shouldn’t be done alone. It just seemed that there should be someone else there with buttery fingers, smiling, and saying “yum” along with me.
It was an unexpected reminder of my loss, another surprising realization that widowhood continually impacts me in so many different ways, both large and small. We talk about the many secondary losses of widowhood but no one, to my knowledge, had ever mentioned eating corn-on-the-cob alone as one of them. Certainly, it could fall under several different categories: loss of best friend, loss of social interaction, loss of intimacy, loss of shared enjoyment, loss of humor . . . Few people, other than other widows, understand the extent of these secondary losses and how they can slap you in the face or creep up behind you in ways that are often surprising. I had no idea about the corn!
I’m thankful that I could enjoy the corn and several days later, I bought another solitary ear. It was good but I did imagine that Al was sitting across from me with buttery fingers and a smile.
Jeanie Stirling