“Sovereign Stumbling”

An Introduction by Rachael Crabb

Ben Sprague, a young guy in his early 20s, read an article written by Larry where he describes his life as a story of “Sovereign Stumbling.” Ben wrote that the phrase lodged deep into his mind and recently led him to write a poetic reflection on the 73rd Psalm. We asked if Larger Story could print his piece in a blog, and he agreed.  So it’s with great pleasure that I introduce you to Ben, whose own small story is just beginning to be told as he stumbles on, graduates from Moody Bible Institute, and serves as a missionary with Cadence International.  So grateful that God, in His sovereignty, used the teaching of Larry, through his parents, to have a profound effect on his life. 

Ben, I want to respond to the statement you made as you closed a letter to me.  The statement was: “I pray that the words of this card are used to bring encouragement as yours and Larry’s have often done for me.” My response: “Oh, Ben, with tears and a full heart I can say, ‘You brought great encouragement to me, and I am forever grateful.  God’s got you in the palm of His hand. “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.” (Phil.1:3) God’s got you!’”

A Hope for the Helpers Blog

“Sovereign Stumbling”

“Truly God is good to Israel,
To those who are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled,
My feet had almost slipped,
For I was envious of the arrogant,
When I saw the prosperity of the wicked.” (Psalm 73:1-3)

Oh, how I long to be pure in heart,
To walk in uprightness, striving after nothing but You, O God.
Oh, but, LORD, You also know how apt I am to betray my true desire,
To be led astray, reduced by the lusts of this world.
Many times how my feet have almost stumbled,
And my steps have almost slipped.
Oh, how my heart is prone to wander from the God I love,
And how it sometimes longs to be free from You!

Free so that I might return to being a slave only to myself:
Free to be a slave to indulging every selfish desire,
Free to be a slave to the currents of the world,
Free to be a slave to my passions,
Free to be a slave to my lusts,
Free to be a slave to comfort and ease,
Free to be a slave to whatever is right in my own eyes.

“For is this freedom not better than slavery to God?”
I ask myself as I watch the arrogant prosper in their freedom,
As I watch those once closest to me now freely live out their
Desires, unhindered from bondage to God,
While all the while, I am chained to God in self-induced slavery,
Condemned to endless suffering brought on by my ever-
Failing attempt to deny myself
Chained to a painful existence of hyper-awareness to how
Pathetically short I fall of being perfect as the LORD my
God is perfect.

“But when I thought how to understand this,
It seemed a wearisome task to me,
Until I went to the sanctuary of God;
Then I discerned their end.” (Psalm 73:16-17)

But oh how just a glimpse of the pure light of Your Truth and Love
Pierces through and melts the gloomy clouds of my disbelief
And dispels all doubts!
For those who are free from you are slaves only to themselves

Free from hope and slave to despair,
Free from truth and slave to lies,
Free from Love and slave to hate,
Free from peace and slave to anxiety,
Free from joy and slave to depression,
Free from light and slave to the darkness,
Free from life and life abundant, and slave to death indefinite.

Yes, truly, it is better to be a slave to You and free to righteousness
Than free from You and slave to the world of my sin.

“Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is nothing that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the rock of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:25-26)

Let the world and my heart be shown to be liars
And Your Word alone to be true!
For now I see, from the highest heavens above to the
Greatest depths below,
There is nothing to desire but You.
So though I walk with feet that are ever prone to slip,
With heart and flesh that are sure to fail,
I step on in Sovereign stumbling, enslaved to God above
Guarded by His chains of Grace, that will not let me fall.
I step on in Sovereign stumbling, enslaved to God above,
Shackled by His clasp of Love, that are sure to hold me fast.
I step on in Sovereign stumbling, enslaved to God above
And with His strength, He guides my heart, on and on to Him.

Forever I’ll walk, a slave to Him,
My portion,
My refuge,
My rock.

By Ben Sprague