Sit In It
As a student who was seeing my sin increasingly, I was desperate to undo it. I didn't think I could stand to see anymore. I went to Larry in his office and told him, "Larry, I see my sin. More than ever, I see my sin. I'm living less outwardly sinful than anytime in my life, yet my sin finds me every day – nearly all day. I have "gotten" this part of the instruction. You and Dan have made your point. But how do I get out? How do I stop this?"
Larry smiled very warmly, very kindly – not maliciously. He said, " Sit in it. Just sit in it."
"No," I said."You're not hearing me. That's the opposite of what I want to do. I need out."
Then beyond another smile, Larry said, " That's all I really know to tell you. Just sit in it."
I left his office – painfully disheartened. Day after day, I saw my sin – even when I wag trying not to. Breaking, I felt a weight I could not lift. But then a few weeks later – maybe a month – something happened. One particular day, I felt a lightness in my step. I felt hope. Some of us were walking back to chapel from the remote, portable buildings on the far edge of campus. I recall walking between a couple of the other guys – for what I realized was the first time in my life to walk between friends and not on the outside where I could get away..
But what happened? While sitting in it, I came to realiz all I had was Christ. (Gal 6:14) My sin that was ever before me? No way I wouldn't continue to see that. But Christ? He saw me at my worst and loved me still. I think that's what Larry did, too. "Exposure with acceptance."
"Sitting in it" helped me learn to walk in the grace of the gospel. (Col 2:6)